Uprising | 2019 | With Great Care & Justice
…or not. Do we really need to mute him and throw him (them) away? How do we make sense of this and where do we go from here?
This is a difficult piece to write and difficult for you to read because our opinions may differ. And that’s ok. Difficult for some because of their life situations and for others, the mass media has told you what and how to think about various subjects.
Let’s start with this
Facts to consider about Robert Sylvester Kelly:
- He has (allegedly) slept with women who were under the age of 18
- He has gone to trial on several occasions for sexual misconduct with women under 18
- He has settled out of court and paid unknown sums of money to individuals and families
- He went to trial for child pornography
- He was sexual abused from age 6 or 7 to the age of 14
Here are questions to consider when thinking about #muterkelly:
- What should adults do in the moment when they know “wrong” is happening?
- How many of us (or people we know) are victims of sexual misconduct/abuse?
- Have we decided to mute Harvey Weinstein? Burn all Playboy magazines? WIll we mute Michael Jackson or Elvis Presley?
- Women- when you were between the ages of 14-17, did you ever desire a man that was too old for you (men that that were 18-25)?
- When will sexual misconduct end?
- After the age of 21, “Age Aint Nothin But A Number” is received with open arms. Men and women usually see no probably with a 5-20 year difference when dating.
Again, these are statements and questions to consider. They are not here to imply or lead you to think a certain way. There is a problem in the minds and hearts of some (if not most) people and that has to change.
We must address the root of the problem and put an end to negative generational behaviors. Where do we begin to heal as a people?
There is a history of sexual predators way before R. Kelly. If we speak racially and historically, people of color are fairly new to this behavior. Whatever the case, the reality is, hurt people, hurt people. Individuals who were not protected as children, became adults who are hurt, abused, and need healing.
We cannot throw Robert Kelly away, nor can we throw all of the “R. Kelly’s” away. Why? Because they are our brothers and sisters. They are people who were and still misguided. Are we going to put the woman (who sexual abused him for years) under the jail cell? Should we have killed the man who tried to force R. Kelly to perform fellatio on him when he was a young boy?
We must start over with love and compassion. Healing and forgiveness. Justice and understanding.
We do NOT excuse his behavior. We do NOT condone his behavior. If he abused his power to do illegal sexual behaviors with teenage girls, take him to court.
This information is not new. We’ve known for years about his behavior, yet we went to his concerts, bought his albums, and played his music. He was “sick” then and today, he’s still “sick”.
The people around him should stand and say, “No, not anymore”. #timesup True friends or family members must say, “Brother, you need help”.
We have to take responsibility for our own thoughts and behaviors. We should show compassion. NOT just for R. Kelly. Compassion for EVERYONE in his circle- from the girls (now women). His children and ex-wife. His brothers, family members. His managers, lawyers, everyone.
Let us take a different approach at how we handle “monsters”.
May justice be served. May healing for all begin. May we handle human beings with great care, purpose, and intention.
Don’t mute him, them, or us. There are billions of stories to tell when it comes to sexual misconduct. Unmute them all.