I wasn’t sure how it would look….suspicious maybe. Surely I was somehow to blame.
I actually considered his feelings and how it would look if he had to explain his actions to his girlfriend, now wife.
I didn’t put up a fight – couldn’t put up a fight – because I didn’t want the neighbors getting involved.
My innermost places did not understand that I was being violated. My body reacted instinctively, which in its own unique way protected me from more extreme physical trauma which would have only compounded my inevitable emotional scars.
Before I was assaulted, I was clear about not wanting any sexual contact with him.
Because of his demeanor, I felt pressured to explain, even though he was in a relationship anyway.
I was not interested.
My reaction the next day still baffles me. I carried on a normal conversation as if he had not violated me the night before.
I acted as though everything was OK, when in fact I was terrified. Filled with disbelief. Confused as to why I was behaving as though everything was the same.
I wanted to hit him, strangle him, tell his girlfriend, and NEVER speak to him again.
#MeToo I didn’t fight. #MeToo I felt I was to blame. #MeToo I remained silent. #MeToo Me. Too.
You are worthy and deserving of respect. Their insecurities and lack of self-discipline have NOTHING to do with you.
My story. Your story. Our story.
Reclaim your energy. Reclaim your sense of worth. Reclaim your voice. Reclaim YOU.
Love. Joy. Peace.